"SPICY PETE"

We arrived at Water Meadows Farm and I had spoken to Spicy Pete on the phone, at length booking the room.

All 3 bikes arrived and no one was around until we saw an elderly chap down the lane near a large Plastic greenhouse, he ambled up to meet us, I introduced ourselves and he replied where’ve you been? I said we’ve just cycled 56 miles.

The sun was shining. I asked where we could put the bikes he pointed to a barn and said over there, so we put our bikes in Barn with open front, in which there was diving gear  and clothes hanging drying.

I was first across to him with my bags and the others were getting the bags off. He said where are they? what's keeping them?

I said we’d just cycled 56 miles we need 5 minutes to recover,

He said if id cycled 56 miles I d need a week to recover.

He then rebuked us for putting our bikes in the wrong barn; he meant the barn round the corner? How were we to know, he then said they’ll be alright in there as long as you don’t mess up the washing?

Just at that two other guys arrived in a Ford Maverick; Spicy Pete then left us standing and started chatting to these men who were also guests. He then chaperoned these men into the house and stood and lectured them on the vagaries of the front door, saying the front door must be locked because the Police have said if anyone breaks in I have to sit and watch them burgle the place and then ring the Police?

We then got the same lecture; this was taking for ever when all we wanted was a shower?

He showed these men their rooms while we waited and waited giving them and us a lecture on the downstairs toilet, then he turned to us and said it wont effect you you’ve got a toilet in your room.

We were eventually shown upstairs to our room, which was very nice. TV in Walnut cabinet armchairs, en suite toilet but no shower we found out we were sharing one shower between 5 of us?

He then said that he’d fetch us milk he disappeared and told us how fresh the milk was we just wanted a cup of tea! , He reappeared. I asked where the nearest pub was, he said just over those trees, great!! But you can’t go that way you  have to walk round the road it’s a mile.

He then told us all about he was blind in one eye, and would struggle to get back down the stairs, so I had to help him down the stairs. We had also discovered the only shower was downstairs. I  asked about a taxi, Spicy Pete said he new one he could recommend he produced a piece of scrap paper with a phone number scribbled on it. He said  "and don’t lose that it’s the only number I have". In my experience Taxi Firms are in telephone directories and you could always copy the number!!!

We showered and changed which was fun in itself 5 men racing each other to the shower, one of the other men tried the door but Colin had quietly slipped in poor Old Spicy Pete was apologetic, this has never happened before! It’s because you all arrived together. Well sorry we weren't to know?

When we went out I told him  we were going, Good old Spicy Pete was sitting with his whisky bottle. We thought about recommending he took more water with it!!

We went out for the evening which was worth the walk, great Pubmaster pub, great meals wholesome and plentiful, the landlady noted my Northern accent and she announced she was from Ennerdale bridge and her husband was from Cleator!!

I told her Graeme was from Haverigg we then had a good old chin wag and we got extra special treatment and larger portions!!!!!

We walked back to Spicy Pete’s just after 11pm. The door was locked rang the door bell several times, he answered and said, "Yes can I help you?"

We reminded him we were staying there? Oh you’d better come in then.

The following morning we went down for breakfast and this is when we named him Spicy Pete. We sat at the table and as we were served our cooked breakfast "Spicy Pete" was written on the side of a sauce bottle. He then told us to try some but be careful as it was runny and hot!!! We tried it and it was good. Pete explained everything on the table was organic and the only things he couldn’t produce were the Oranges, he chatted all through Breakfast until Mrs Robinson dragged him through to the kitchen only for him to wander through again!! Collecting plates.

After breakfast I was still to meet Spicy Pete’s wrath he was bemoaning cycle races over breakfast because he was delayed once getting to Market in Leicester with some Pigs.

I then went to settle the bill and Spicy Pete said "I hope you’re good at maths"

"Why I asked" well you sent me £27 deposit and your bill is £52.50p.

Strange figure to send? I said well that’s the amount you asked me for?

The guy was just crazy? But he was a really nice guy.

We loaded up and cycled out of the farm yard, apart from a joke with Graeme and Colin putting my panniers on Pete’s dusty old bike, we left our eccentric host to his future guests.